1. Use logical thought to question how “Crazy” Randy got his nickname.

2. Don’t follow “Crazy” Randy back to his bungalow in the hills.
3. Definitely don’t consume “Crazy” Randy’s “Bathtub Scotch.”

4. Don’t step inside “Crazy” Randy’s “Animal Room.”
5. Don’t drunkenly taunt “Crazy” Randy’s python.
6. When “Crazy” Randy invites you to pet his python, “follow your gut.”
7. When “Crazy” Randy’s python coils up, “Crazy” Randy’s python attacks.
8. “Crazy” Randy’s python isn’t quite finished biting yet.
9. Don’t wear scented facial moisturizer?
10. Avoid looking for new friends at ice skating rinks in Panorama City.

From 2001 to 2004 I was an administrative assistant at a design firm in San Francisco.  I answered phones and helped with the occasional project, but mainly I was there to smile at people when they walked into the offices, make coffee in the morning, and run to the post office when needed.  While certainly not the best use of my college education, the job did give me considerable time to work on my own shit.  And work on my own shit I did, successfully launching a comedy blog called lunchboxing.com.  Looking back at the archives, it certainly wasn’t a perfect site.  But it did get a lot of really talented people contributing comedy articles, and for a couple years there it had a pretty decent readership.  Most importantly it forced me to write, and gave me a sense of purpose between ordering office supplies and making copies.  Unfortunately, I failed to renew the domain name on it a few months ago, and getting it back has been a bit of a struggle.  So from time to time I may dip into the vast lunchboxing (or LUBO as we used to call it) archives to find articles that I think still hold up.  Or at least show glimmers of the good times we had making the site what it was.  I will start with a list called “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” which really needs no explaining.  It was the first of many of the lists we used to post, and it’s got some gems.  It’s time to, as they say, “get retarded!”

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